The One Who Humbles Himself Will Be Exalted

The way in which we come to know God and are saved is such a mysterious and complex process.  Without delving too far into doctrine, the Bible is explicit in stating both that God has predestined us to salvation (Romans 8:29-30) and that we must also exercise belief in Jesus Christ as our personal Savior in order to be saved (John 3:16).  Even still, in our depravity, we are unable to respond to God’s calling or believe in Jesus on our own accord and, therefore, our election to salvation is based on no inherent qualities of our own – it is unconditional and was predetermined by God in eternity past (Ephesians 1:3-6).  How we are both predestined and must choose is a mystery to me, but we know this to be true based on the inerrant Word of God and that, in His will, it all makes perfect sense.  One thing that is neither mysterious nor complex, but completely obvious, is that we are saved by mercy (an act of kindness or compassion) and grace (unmerited favor) – this, I love.  There is no other god I’d rather worship than one who has saved me based on His love, compassion, and sovereignty alone and there is no other person I’d rather be than one who is completely undeserving of it – it puts things in the right perspective.

In light of that unbelievable, yet undeniable truth, how is it then that our flesh still seeks to exalt itself in self-righteousness?  Let’s have an honest moment of self-reflection:  for most of us, the minute someone questions our character, integrity, or judgment we immediately become defensive – we are so assured of ourselves and the lifestyles we lead.  From believers to unbelievers alike, none of us seem to escape this pitfall.  It is astonishing and frightening to see how many of us have allowed ourselves to live in such arrogance and disillusion, as if we have no need for a savior.  Some of us think that by our own good deeds we merit or have earned our way to heaven – although this is impossible (Galatians 2:15-16).  Others of us justify ourselves based on our own flawed morals and standards, ignoring the fact that we are held accountable to God’s standards.  Even worse, there are those of us who live in outright, deliberate, defiance of God’s commands with no regard for His authority or judgment.  We’ve come to a day and age where we’ve justified our sin and live in it out in the open with no shame whatsoever – we have declared ourselves righteous according to our own desires and will (Romans 1:28-32). 

How then, does this self-righteousness distort our ego, our compassion, our humility, our self-perception, our honesty, and our love towards one another?  Of greatest concern is how does this change our view of ourselves in relation to God?  Do we love God?  Do we desire God?  Do we obey or understand our need for God?  Or, have we gotten to the point that we don’t even acknowledge God?  It is obvious then that our self-perception is naturally corrupted and therefore the question cannot be how do I feel about my lifestyle, but rather what does the Bible say about my fallen nature?  Without a Biblical context, we will undoubtedly come to the wrong conclusion of who we really are and this allows us to perpetuate our self-righteousness and forfeit the true gift of God.

In Luke 18:9-14 Jesus tells the parable of “The Pharisee and the Tax Collector”.  The parable is basically about how two men approach God in prayer – the Pharisee boastful in his own self-confidence and the Tax Collector mindful of his sin and seeking God’s mercy.  The Pharisee in his self-righteousness was completely blinded to his true sinful nature and the Tax Collector, truthfully self-aware, acknowledged his need for God’s mercy.  The truth is, until our eyes are opened by the Holy Spirit to the true nature of our depravity, we are just like the Pharisee – lost in our own arrogance.  In living this way, we will never comprehend our true need for Jesus.  However, once the Spirit of God has revealed to us who we really are, we then see the hopelessness that is lived in a life without a Savior.  We are sinners that deserve nothing short of God’s wrath for living in outright disobedience to Him – but what a loving God that paid the price for us in Jesus Christ that we sinners might be saved.  If we really want to know God, we must lay our self-righteousness aside, come to terms with who we really are, and discover the love of a God who sacrificed Himself for us while we stood as enemies of the cross (Romans 5:6-11).

Finding the Way

I’d always thought I was a good person – at least “relatively good”.  Growing up I felt I had a deeply ingrained moral compass – although I didn’t always bother to consult it – and in general, I was not a malicious or hateful individual.  I would even go so far as to say that most people I grew up with would have considered me of sound character.  I was raised in church, “saved and baptized” when I was in elementary school, and grew up my whole life with the awareness of God.  I did fairly well in school, went to college, and considered myself to be part of the “good crowd” – the ones that were “doing something with their lives”.  I was also an exceptional liar.  So well in fact, that I had convinced myself that being “relatively good” actually meant something and that an awareness of God was somehow equivalent to having a relationship with God and being submissive to Him.  I was completely blind to who I really was and totally unaware of it.

The truth is I was a selfish, rebellious, egotistical, arrogant, vain, sinful, and defiant human being.  If there was one person I cared about throughout high school and college, it was myself.  I was completely enamored with being part of the popular crowd – the clothes, the cars, the parties, dating the right girls.  I was no victim of peer pressure either…I was right there in the middle of it all.  I loved to drink and I loved to have a good time.  I remember boasting, so ignorantly in retrospect, about some of the parties we used to have.  It’s amazing how small your worldview is when you’re young – I was such a fool and, to be honest, I’m ashamed of who I was.  I remember being drunk and having theological arguments about God and religion – as if I cared about anything else other than being right.  Can you imagine what God must have thought watching me completely intoxicated, in defiance of one of His commands mind you, arguing about what I thought I knew about Him?  I didn’t know God and the truth was I didn’t care about God.  Everything about me was tainted by sin.  Even in relationships, where I thought I was actually capable of loving and caring about another human being, I was only concerned with myself.  I was never capable of loving another individual more than myself and, because of that, I treated a lot of young women in ways that I know God was disappointed with…in ways that I am disappointed with.

In the later years of college, I used to have this feeling of being lost.  It was as though I didn’t know where exactly “home” was, I just knew I wasn’t there.  I began to struggle with guilt and loneliness.  Looking back, I realize now that God was beginning to work in my life.  It wasn’t as though I found Him, because He was never lost – I was, but He began to draw me to Him.   That very fact has humbled me to my core, has begun to mortify my pride, and has brought me to tears more than once.  John 6:44 says “No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him” and it’s true.  I was so lost in the depths of my own sinfulness that God had to reach in and save me – by no merit of my own, but out of an overwhelming grace and mercy.  Around that time I met my future wife and God began to slowly put things in place to accomplish His will in my life. 

A few years later my wife and I were driving home from San Antonio; it was dark and she was asleep in the passenger’s seat.  I sat there thinking as I drove about who I used to be and how my life had begun to change.  I was now playing in the worship group at our church – quite the different scene from my days in college.  As I thought about all the circumstances and events that had to happen in order to get me from where I used to be to where I was, I began to feel this overwhelming sensation that I had not journeyed there on my own, but I was brought there by divine purpose.  All along God had orchestrated the events of my life up until then to bring me to Him, right to that very point, and I knew he was offering me the gift of life.  Right then, I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior – the perfect sacrifice that paid for my sin in full so that I might spend eternity with Him and glorify His name.

In Luke 7:41-43 Jesus tells the following parable – "A certain moneylender had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty.  When they could not pay, he cancelled the debt of both.  Now which of them will love him more?"  Simon answered, "The one, I suppose, for whom he cancelled the larger debt." And he (Jesus) said to him (Simon), "You have judged rightly".  I think most of us walk through life in denial of who we really are.  We count ourselves as “relatively good” and therefore perceive that our debt (sin) is small and that diminishes Jesus and His sacrifice on the cross.  Once we begin to know God and are convicted of our true sinful nature, we then realize the great magnitude of our debt.  The Bible says the wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23) and it also says that all of us are sinful (Romans 3:10-18).  The only way we could repay that debt is an eternity spent in hell.  However, Jesus has paid our great debt and once we can understand the enormity of the debt cancelled, we can truly accept God’s gift of eternal life, love Him as we should, and recognize the immeasurable significance of the cross.

Why Me? Why Now?

I’ve never considered blogging before.  After all, why would I?  To your typical person, I would appear to have an average life – no fancy career, no inordinate amount of wealth, no adventurous travels, and no booming social life – nothing.  There are almost 7 billion people on this earth and I can promise you that many of them are more interesting, more intelligent, more cultured, and more experienced than I.  It would appear that most people blog to share their life experiences and while I do have personal experiences of my own, none of them are inherently any more or less significant than anyone else’s.  So is there any good reason for me to blog about myself?  No.  Is there any reason why anyone should be interested in reading a blog about me.  Absolutely not.

My existence in and of itself does not merit any recognition or special attention, however, the reason that I exist does.  I think many of us often mistake life as some sort of series of events or circumstances that interact within a narrative about ourselves.  I’ve recognized that my being is not an account of my life, but rather part of a story about something, more specifically someone, greater than I.  In the past few years my eyes have been opened to this greater reality that is occurring all around us.  It is a story of love, generosity, rebellion, brokenness, mercy, hope, justice, redemption, and grace.  It is a story that points to and revolves around one person – Jesus Christ.  Romans 11:36

I have no interest in writing about me for the sake of my own fulfillment.  What I do have an interest in is sharing with you how God has revealed Himself to me and how this has completely transformed my life for His glory.  This does require me to share my own personal insight and experiences, but it is my sincere hope that it will always point back to God.  I am simply a vessel – one that seeks to share the Gospel.